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 Jokes thread

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GM HiHeiwa
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PostSubject: Jokes thread   Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:05 am

From 1 liners to stand-up comedies,post them here!Videos containing jokes are accepted as well What a Face

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Bandon V. Lucifer
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:09 am

Oh I got one: A taxi driver just picked up a fare and is driving him to his destination when the passanger leaned over and tapped the driver on his shoulder. The driver jumped, swerved hit the front of a car, narrowly misses a bus and stops inches away from a wall. "Bloody hell, your a jumpy guy! All I did was tap you on the shoulder." Said the passenger. "Sorry, it's my first day on the job. I have been driving a hearse for the last 20 years."
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GM HiHeiwa
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:10 am

My dad told me that one yesterday.Wiiiierd....

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Bandon V. Lucifer
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:13 am

What is your dad's name? I understand if you don't want to tell me but I might know him. Please tell.
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ZacofBlades
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Fri Nov 27, 2009 1:24 pm

two penuts were walking down the road. one was asalted.

Geddit? Laughing
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ZigZagas
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Fri Nov 27, 2009 2:09 pm

Yes.

It's very very bad... No

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Fri Nov 27, 2009 2:11 pm

It's funny because the peanut is a salted one and it wasn't assaulted like attack or hit! Razz
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Fri Nov 27, 2009 2:22 pm

yes i get it.. Very Happy
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duck 464
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Fri Nov 27, 2009 2:22 pm

the crowd was going wild with laughter hung
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Fri Nov 27, 2009 3:40 pm

Funny names from Terry Prachett novels:
James what the hell is this cow doing in here poorchick,
Total Biscuit
Yodel lightly
Moist Von Lipwig
Adora Bell Dearheart
Captain Carrot
Corporal Nobbs
Lord Vetenari
Granny Weatherwax
Nanny Ogg
Magrat Garlick
Mona Ogg
Tiffany Aching
Sarah Grizzle
Mrs Cake
Munstrum Riddicully
Windle Poons

And heaps of other ones which I shall soon read all about!


Last edited by ZacofBlades on Fri Dec 04, 2009 8:32 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Bandon V. Lucifer
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Fri Dec 04, 2009 2:56 pm

A bit of a necro-post but still.
Sammie the Squirrel was frozen to the spot when he realised that he buried the wrong nuts.
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Fri Dec 04, 2009 3:01 pm

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?

(Don't spoil it Unit, Ziggy, Heiwa or anyone who knows) Evil or Very Mad
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Bandon V. Lucifer
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Fri Dec 04, 2009 3:12 pm

Not impressed. Do not make fun of anyone's death. It is not a good thing and it is certantly not funny. I doubt you would like it if everyone made jokes about you when you died, would you?
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Fri Dec 04, 2009 3:14 pm

(I wouldn't care, I'd be dead.) It's not a joke about him dying...

Right then, One is plastic, white and it's dangerous to leave your children with them, the other you put your groceries in!


Last edited by Darkonor263 on Fri Dec 04, 2009 4:22 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Why not!)
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Fri Dec 04, 2009 4:54 pm

hahaha! that's funny! Laughing hey bandon u should have heard of the amount of jokes that came out 10 mins after his death! it was crazy onf 4 chan and everywere. I actually remember it saying live that he died, and then looking on internet of the sudden jokes
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Fri Dec 04, 2009 8:34 pm

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?

Tiger woods can drive a golfball over 400m! lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Sat Dec 05, 2009 3:25 am

About michael jackson's death:
The vast majority of people are such hypocrites.
Before he died;
"Ewwww he *beeps* young children he's sick i hate him he should get off the tele and music biz!"
After he dies:
"Oh it's tragic, he was the king of pop, oh, it's so sad, lets have a national mourning day..."


F*** THAT!

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Sat Dec 05, 2009 4:36 am

i only liked him because he made good music.
but you have a point zig
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Sat Dec 05, 2009 8:01 am

True and I only liked him for the music. I just don't like people making jokes about someone's death. Alwell *Shrugs* It will never stop.
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:10 pm

Only for the music.
By the way I've edited my funny names from discworld post. If anyone can think of more plz tell and I'll add them Very Happy

Should we have a discworld post perhaps?
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:15 pm

I think we should just have an entire thread based on the Discworld series. They were so brilliant. I think everyone here knows which on is my favourite. And I quote:
"The robes, the scythe, the white horse; Death." -Susan, Terry Pratchett's The Hogfather.
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:16 pm

All the books are simply amazing I'll make a thread.
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Sun Dec 06, 2009 12:41 am

That'll be good...
But I somehow hate books now. Don't know why. The only set of books I can read is Darren Shan Demonata because I can't be bothered to start a new storyline... Neutral
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Sun Dec 06, 2009 12:45 am

Darren Shan Demonata!
Not a fan. Evil or Very Mad
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Tue Dec 22, 2009 7:57 pm

I just read hogfather Very Happy
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